Lesson #2: The Enneagram

Lesson #2: The Enneagram

In 2014 I was early in my journey of setting up a business, but I was struggling. I came across a free ebook that described the nine personality types of the Enneagram in terms of being a business person. I printed off the ebook and started reading through the descriptions starting with ‘type 1′. When I got to ‘type 5’ — the investigator — I was blown away. I read about aspects of myself that i had felt were what was wrong with me — the things I’d felt ashamed of, like holding back, being a loner, endlessly studying and searching .. and realised I wasn’t alone — that there were huge numbers of people who thought and felt like I did.


This was the start of a deep journey in which I learnt about all of the types and for the first time I started to understand people. As I lay in bed at night, thinking about all these types, and piecing together a lifetime of interactions and confusion, I felt like my life was a massive puzzle that was falling into place.

One of the biggest gifts of learning about the Enneagram was that, in understanding myself and others more clearly, I could feel love and appreciation for what each person, including myself, was experiencing.


What followed was a journey back to the world, as I had removed myself from the world and ‘society’ to an extreme degree.


The best way to learn about the Enneagram is, much like I did, to read the descriptions of each of the types and to see what resonates.


The Enneagram describes a path of spiritual evolution.


In the past year I have started to learn a completely different way of understanding the Enneagram that precedes the personality structure approach. This is Fourth Way teachings and the Enneagram describes a process of evolution which I am beginning to study as ‘an objective way of awakening’.


This ancient symbol has a lot of depth and is something I expect I will be studying my whole life.


Anyway, this is a very simple (overly simple) introduction. I LOVE the Enneagram and I recommend it as a powerful tool for self awareness and guidance.

Into the Quantum

Into the Quantum

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started 
And know the place for the first time.

– T.S.Eliot

Hi and welcome to the Quantum!  It’s a place I’ve begun exploring, where anything and everything is possible.  How is your 2021 going so far?  Have you noticed any shifts?

What is the Quantum?

One of my teacher says “What is, is, all else is quantum”.  It’s taken a bit for me to get my head around this, but essentially, the Quantum is everything that doesn’t ‘exist’ (in 3D) right now but exists in the infinite possibilities.  Just because something exists in our experienced reality doesn’t negate everything else.  It could all be happening side by side.  As I see it, stepping in the Quantum is stepping out of limited thinking and into the realms of infinite possibility.  In the past this would have felt daunting to me, but right now it’s beginning to feel expansive and exciting.  

We shall not cease from exploration

With curiosity as one of my top three values, exploration is an essential part of my existence.  And perhaps for that reason, I have tended to be drawn to things I didn’t understand.  Confusion was also a natural state for me.  But happy to say I am finally shifting from confusion to clarity in multiple areas of my life and, rather than spinning my wheels, I’m finally making progress.

The end of all our exploring

I see life as a spiral process of evolution, where we return to the same lessons but each time with a new level of understanding.  In this way the process becomes meaningful and purposeful.  Perhaps its that flash of deeper insight that feels so nourishing and makes the travails seem worth it.

Three weeks ago I had a profound experience of this, when I attended a ‘Mould Making and Casting’ workshop as part of Bellingen Shire’s Arts Week.

To arrive where we started

Over the years I have done a lot of ‘model-making’ in all sorts of materials and sizes.  But apart from (and perhaps due to) an unsatisfying experience in year 12, I have not used rubber moulds.  Now, looking back, it’s like I went ‘off track’ at that point in year 12.  I remember the moment .. standing outside my art room at high school and a friend mentioning she had put down architecture as her top preference.  I’d never even thought of architecture but it struck me as fascinating.  It was the mysterious and esoteric quality of it that drew me in.  That was 33 years ago.  

At the time I was creating a sculpture out of clay for my HSC art project.  I couldn’t fire it because of the wire armature, so I had to create a rubber mould and plaster sleeve in order to cast it in resin.  I remember ringing around Sydney to find the ingredients, muddling my way through the process, with little guidance, and ending up with a disappointing result.  The sculpture was of a naked female rising in ecstasy and representing the state of enlightenment.  I saw it as a maquette for a larger than life size piece.  That was my vision.  

And know the place for the first time

And so, three weeks ago, in the midst of a lot happening and very little forethought, I went along to the workshop with artist Jim Hood.  Jim created a sculpture I fell in love with and purchased three months ago, and it turns out he lives in the same street as me but I’d never met him.  I was so blown away by the techniques he shared and the possibilities I could see that my journey suddenly started to make sense.  And the workshop space I’d created under my house before I moved up to Fernmount, with my vision of working from home creating sculptures, suddenly started to feel like a possibility.

The end of all our exploring

And so it is that tomorrow I begin a new journey as I start the New Enterprise Incentive Scheme (NEIS) program and begin to put together a business plan for this new iteration of my business.

My plan is to create moulds and replicas of my sculpture pieces, and to offer this as a service to others.  And I’ll continue to work towards the first (and subsequent) Cloudscape sculptures.  

The peace of clarity

Searching for work I could do that felt inspiring and aligned and that I could do until I die has been a mission of mine for most of my life.  And I feel like I have found it.  The peace that comes from this ‘no longer searching’ is huge.  Finally, the energy I’ve spent searching can be put into creation.  I feel as though I can finally relax – and this makes possible so much else in my life.  Thank you Universe!!

 Magical journeys

There’s more I could share about various other journeys I’ve been on lately including Quantum Magic, Money Manifestation Magic, and Lifebook – all three of which have been powerful, mind-blowing and inspiring.  But this ‘arrival’ of sorts in terms of my career is the biggest breakthrough by far, so I will leave it at that for now.  

How about you?  Have you had any big shifts?  Is there anything you like to share?  I’d love to hear from you.

Thanks for being here.

Love,
Orly

A revolution in connection

A revolution in connection

Only connect!

E. M. Forster

 

Revolution for Peace: from nuclear disarmament to the tree of life

Revolution for Peace: from nuclear disarmament to the tree of life

 

They say you want a revolution,

Well you know, We all want to change the world.

You tell me that it’s evolution,

Well you know, we all want to change the world.

John Lennon & Paul Mccartney (from the album Love)

 

Declaring a revolution

 

There is a certain freedom that comes from declaring a revolution .. a shift away from what has gone before.  And so I will take the liberty to be so bold and declare my current quest – of creating spaces within public places that invite people to explore, play and connect – as a revolution in connection.

 

 

Why connection?

 

As a natural loner and a keen explorer I have spent my life striving to be alone and self sufficient in order to explore freely without the demands, expectations and judgements of others.  As part of my explorations I have spent my life studying people and trying to understand why we experience and respond to the world in such different ways.  My confusion about people and lack of confidence in my opinions resulted in my withdrawal from society or from any self expression to the point that I felt I might as well disappear completely.  Instead though, I found a way to reenter the world – bringing with me a conviction in the importance of, and indeed the need for connection.

In my study of people, I’ve come to learn that there are in fact nine distinct worldviews that shape our experience of the world, each with it’s own strengths and limitations, gifts and challenges.  I see tremendous value in having spaces where people can drop their guard and their patterned ways of being in order to open up to their essence.  By shifting out of everyday life, letting go of egoic patterns and beliefs, and being in the present moment, we can come to discover that we are all connected.

 

 

Why play?

 

Play offers opportunities to explore, to find connections and to open up our experience of the world.  It keeps our minds active and agile and keeps us young.  Play can offer a way to shift out of stuck ways of thinking.  Play is important at all ages of life.

Yet opportunities for play in public spaces diminish after childhood.  Almost all playgrounds cater primarily for youth, and adults without kids in tow tend to be viewed with suspicion or amusement if they dare to use children’s play equipment.  I believe we need play spaces that cater to all ages, and indeed that invite all ages to come together.  The separatist nature of most playgrounds increases disconnection and ignores the fact that people of all ages get many benefits from play.  In addition, there are benefits in young and old coming together to enrich the lives of both.

 

 

Why Cloudscape?

 

When I try to think of places where a person who feels isolated can go and experience a sense of connection while having no expectation to be part of a group or to act in a particular way .. I draw a blank.  And so I have designed Cloudscape.

Cloudscape offers a shift out of the everyday with many different ways to connect; physically (as we climb through the sculpture and move our body), mentally (as we shift out of our stuck patterns of thinking and allow ourselves to see the world afresh) and spiritually (as we surrender to the present moment and as we experience our personal connection to the world, to ourselves and to others),

 

 

A solution to isolation

 

Cloudscape is a solution to isolation.  It is a response to a world where virtual connection has rapidly replaced personal contact resulting in a disembodied experience of the world and epidemics of obesity and depression.  Balance needs to be restored, and Cloudscape offers a solution for moving forward.

 

 

From life experience

 

Cloudscape is a coming together of years of searching, exploring and questing on a personal journey of evolution and trying to find my place in the world.  It brings together some of my ideas and skills into a mission that feels meaningful enough to pull me forward while giving me the direction and focus I have been searching for.

Having spent my life lacking the confidence to express an opinion (always seeing alternative views as equally valid), struggling to make decisions (hating to cut off possibilities) and holding back from self expression (to avoid the opinions, expectations and judgements of others) – I have finally come to develop a clearer perspective on my values, needs, strengths and what I need to do to evolve.  Though hiding and flying under the radar has enabled me to explore broadly and deeply with minimum distraction, it also took me out of the world and out of connection with others, and ended up with my feeling lost, confused and alone, struggling to find purpose in life.

 

Coming full circle

 

So Cloudscape represents a coming full circle, a return to presence and self expression, and a stake in the ground  that declares what I am taking a stand for.  And so, with Cloudscape I am proposing a way to bring more openness, acceptance, connection and harmony to the world.

 

 

A bigger picture

 

My big picture view is to have these spaces in cities around the world, as places for people to reconnect and shift their thinking.

Through Cloudscape I hope to break down barriers to communication and set spirits free.

 

 

What is your perspective?

 

So that’s my vision and my stance.  Of course I remain open to alternative views and opinions – and welcome them.

What do YOU think??

Let’s talk!

 

 

Charmaine

 

 

A bumbling search for my path

A bumbling search for my path

Year 12 yearbook photo

Year 12 yearbook photo

A mad cap path

This rambling post shares a bit of the madcap path I’ve been on that has led to me into existential crises at multiple ages, trying to work out what work I can do that will both allow me the freedom I crave and the sense of meaning I need while making a contribution to the world.

I’ve wondered whether my crises might have been avoided had I found my ‘work in the world’ at an earlier age.  Whether a specific field of endeavour might have given me the confidence and direction I needed.  But decision making was never my strength, and I think I couldn’t have settled on any one particular subject and felt satisfied.

My intentions for this post:

  • to share my unconventional, winding, messy path
  • to declare my respect for architects and the work they do
  • to explain why I’ve never fit the mould of an architect and how I’ve struggled to find my place in the world
  • to share what I’ve come to at this point in time
  • to share my story in a vulnerable way as a means to clarity

Unguided curiosity

I’ve often felt envious of those who knew what they wanted to do at an early age and set forth on a path to pursue it.  There is a lot of power in having such focus.  I know this from the few times in my life I felt clarity and saw the path open up before me.  Mostly though, I’ve felt more like a blind pilgrim, feeling my way, or a mad explorer, running madly and erratically up every path I’ve come to, seeking to discover fresh insights.

And so, part blind and part curious, I bumbled into studying architecture.  It wasn’t something I’d even thought of before I had to select my preferences for university toward the end of high school.  It was a given that I would go to university.  My passion was studying, and my mum had missed the opportunity to go to university and so had always expected it of her two daughters.  At school I was a dedicated student, soaking up every topic and hating to miss a day of school for fear of missing out on learning something.  If I could have studied everything I would have.  As it was I took on the maximum 15 units in my final year rather than the prerequisite 10.  I was simply a keen learner and enjoyed learning for the sake of learning.  I don’t remember ever having any career guidance.

When it came time to select my preferences for what to study at university I found the choice almost impossible – until a friend announced she was choosing architecture.  The thought of architecture had never crossed my mind .. never even crossed my radar.  So the esoteric (to me at least) nature of it sparked my interest.  This was followed with a rationalisation that, since it combined two of my favourite subjects – art and physics – it might be ideal.

When the time came the following year to start university, I had gotten not into my first preference of architecture at Sydney University .. but my second preference which was architecture at the University of Technology, Sydney.  This particular university had a very career focused approach to architecture, with students expected to work in offices as part of the program.  Most of the other students were mature age students who were very focused and determined, with no doubt that this was their thing.  I certainly didn’t have such certainty .. in fact, all I had was doubt .. and so within two weeks I had transferred to a Bachelor of Industrial Design (which I never actually started).  I definitely wasn’t ready to dive into an intensive course and career path.  After 13 years of schooling (which I had taken very seriously) it was time to travel.  I found a job scooping icecream, postponed my studies until following year, and prepared to set off overseas with the money I’d been saving, to explore the wider world.

 

Spirit set free

And so began my year of joyful wandering, solo travelling, working enough to survive and developing my confidence and survival skills.  It felt like all my Christmases and birthdays (though I’d never liked either) come at once.  A world to explore.  None to answer to but myself.  Bliss.

I started writing in a journal .. something I’d never had the privacy to do.   I was buoyed up with eighteen year old confidence, reinforced by martial arts bravado.  I backpacked, hitchhiked, wandered, explored, photographed, wrote, found odd jobs, I was in heaven.  Then .. as the year drew to a close .. I made the regretful decision to return to Australia to again start an architectural degree .. this time at Sydney University.

Three years of hell ensued.  I went from utter freedom to entrapment.  And even though the head of first year, having taken in more students than they could accommodate, partly to obtain extra government funding and partly in knowledge of a high drop out rate, suggested more than once that this might not be a good fit for me – my unfortunate trait of tenacity and my lack of a better idea meant I stuck through the three painful years, at which point I was ready to once again escape the clutches of Sydney .. this time destined for Darwin .. as exotic and distant a place as I could think of without leaving Australia.

 

Blah blah blah

This is getting a bit too long, it seems, and I need to get to some point in this story.  I will cut it short by saying that I spent four years in Darwin and one year in Japan during which time I did a number of different jobs which included being a casino croupier, manual drafting for an architect, teaching English to 4-86 year olds, crisis line counselling, studying karate, music, guitar, painting, an introduction to various trades, and exploring the world by foot, bicycle and motorcycle, developing my skills of self sufficiency.

I ended up back in Sydney to reconnect with my almost severed past and, almost as expected, I became caught in the sticky web which had me there not the four months or four years I’d predicted .. but 13 years.  In that time I started a job doing drafting .. chosen mainly because it meant I could develop my skills and maintained firstly because it offered freedom and flexibility .. but over time which clamped down like a trap I couldn’t get out of.  After three years in that job, feeling the pressure to grow, I again took a dive back into the academic world of architecture .. something I was now much more prepared for, but still no more suited towards.  Driving me was a desire to work for myself .. something I figured an architecture degree could help me with.  My confidence was a notch higher than during my first degree .. but still not high enough to embrace this demanding field.  As always, I remained a fish out of water throughout this degree.  Again, studying while working to support myself (same as my first degree), I hung in there tenaciously, finding plenty to keep me inspired and enjoying the opportunity to design organic forms whenever I could.

So why .. having spent six and a half years of my life, split by a nine year gap – fifteen years beginning to end – studying for a profession – have I felt such resistance to actually practicing it??  That is what I’m trying to explain – to myself and to whoever is interested.

I found the study of architecture and insight into the profession inspiring, enlightening and challenging.  There’s only one problem.  I don’t care much for buildings.  People, ideas and matters of spirit excite me much more.  Oh .. and I do love making things .. and working out how to make them.  But buildings are such complex beasts, requiring so many diverse skills and talents.  And the profession requires an energy and attention I just never felt prepared to give.  It requires love, dedication and total commitment.  That’s how I’ve seen it anyway.

The subjects that got me fired up during my uni degrees were rarely to do with buildings ..

  • sculpture
  • film/video
  • Indian and southeast asian art and architecture
  • far eastern art and architecture
  • object design and construction
  • the culture of nature
  • guitar performance (Diploma of Music)
  • architectural design studios (some were inspiring, some painful)
  • advanced digital graphic communications
  • principles and philosophy of design
  • drawing and design: seeing, thinking, understanding
  • creative writing
  • investigation workshop (I had to do this twice – unable to complete my investigations in one term)
  • the culture of nature (probably my favourite course of all)
  • place, identity and difference
  • thinking through drawings
  • landscape animation

Is it any wonder that I didn’t love this study!  I still have piles of books and papers and notes from lots of those courses that I have intended to explore more fully – and perhaps that is what I will do through this blog!

So that has been my unconventional career path that has led me down lots of dead ends.  All I really wanted to do was to explore the world through as many different avenues as I could.  And though I’ve puzzled and berated myself each time I’ve found myself lost and floundering, my explanation has been inspiration, inertia, lack of a better idea, blind tenacity and faith plus a determination to find my own path.

 

In praise of architects

Architecture is a well beaten path .. though offering much scope for exploration.  And that is where I want to go.  Because wild explorations are my bliss.  Dives into the unknown.  Total immersion.

I’ve had many people mention that they would have loved to have studied architecture.  But I would dissuade anyone who, on a whim, feels they might like to go into this field.  It is not for the faint hearted.  I have huge respect for architects.  It is a truly renaissance art and it demands so much – sensitivity, wisdom, creativity, rationality, interpersonal skills, an open mind, intelligence, focus, confidence, good problem solving ability, good decision making ability .. you name it. Oh .. and a love of buildings helps too.  You have to do it for the love.

 

Maybe I should have studied psychology

My latest inspiration, though not a new one, of a path that might have suited me better (at least in terms of the work side of things) would be some sort of psychotherapy practice.  I’ve heard it said that psychiatrists often go into the field to work on themselves and that would have been where I was coming from if I’d gone down that route.  Right now though, I’m interested in it as much for connecting with and helping others.  But it’s only now, at 44 years of age, that I feel I could even start to consider this.  And only now that I’ve done so much work trying to understand people and myself.  Because people have always fascinated and confounded me and I’ve spent a lifetime studying and observing them from a distance.  And I have finally started to break through a fear that was born of confusion but had me overwhelmed by contact with people.  So really, I’m only now at a point that this sort of work feels an option.

Adventure and self sufficiency combined

Adventure and self sufficiency combined

 

A search for reinvention

Over the past few years I have been examining my arsenal of skills and interests, along with my personality and ideal lifestyle, to try to formulate a sustainable and satisfying way to contribute to the world.  Which brings me to this moment in time.

And since this post is long and overdue and I need to publish it so I can shift my focus to other tasks demanding my attention .. I will finish here.  I’m squinting through heavy eyelids and I just need to move on, for now.  If you think you might be able to offer a fresh perspective or insights, or want further clarification, or just want to say anything .. please comment below!

 

With gratitude,

Charmaine

 

Wearing today's new skin

Wearing today’s new skin

Cloudscape .. a journey of transformation

Cloudscape .. a journey of transformation

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud

was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

Anais Nin

 

Some things I have learnt:

 

– if we don’t get a lesson the Universe will keep sending it to us

– Everything is relative

– We are all connected

– I am not alone

– There is a flip-side to everything .. nothing is all good or all bad

– pushing something into the shadow, trying to hide it, gives it power

– the answer to Life and How to Live is … Breath

 

Moving on ..

 

Enough philosophising for today.

I realise I need to keep it simple.  My mind does a grand job of complicating things.  It takes me on journeys of wonder and beauty as well as nightmarish despair.

For months I’ve been playing with ideas, writing tomes, but little has made it to the public eye.

 

The challenge of self expression ..

 

Public expression .. is my biggest challenge.  And such is the irony .. that what I’m desiring to create is so very public.

Cloudscape .. a vision that has been swimming in my head for too many years.

Just recently I discovered a sketch I did in 2008

 

An exploration of the 'cloud' concept from 2008

An exploration of the ‘cloud’ concept from 2008

 

It reminded me how long this concept has been swimming around in my head.  And I could keep on thinking about it and continue to hide away .. or I can bring it to life and learn the lessons and develop the concept in reality – and in connection with other people .. which after all is a big part of the concept!

 

The Kickstarter challenge

 

The September 2015 deadline I have set for the Kickstarter campaign is fast approaching .. and the pressure of that deadline, and the accompanying onslaught of so many competing demands and distractions is taking its toll.  But despite all that, I need a deadline to narrow down my focus which tends to want to scatter far and wide into every possible crevice of life.  The original goal was a September 1-30 campaign .. this then shifted to a September 15-30 campaign .. and right now my new goal is September 30 – October 31 .. Halloween might be a fitting end to the campaign.

I am in the process of creating the 1:20 scale model .. which is taking longer than expected (I tend to be optimistic about how long things will take .. which is one of my downfalls).  I am also in the process of creating an explanatory video for the Kickstarter campaign, plus the Kickstarter campaign itself.

 

This morning’s breakthrough idea

 

And in the meantime .. there is the rest of life.  I am pushing forward (too slowly) on an application to council for someone wanting to develop an empty block of land into their dream home, plus getting a bundle of presents ready to send to lots of people, since I’m generally hopeless when it comes to presents and this is a backlog going back years (I could write a blog post on that!), and .. I could go on with my smothering to do list and the efforts I have been taking in harnessing my attentions .. but I would just start rambling (more than I already am).  But I will say that publishing this blog post .. regardless of how I feel about it .. is bound to give me a rush of energy since it has been on my ‘to do’ list since the beginning of this year.  This morning I had the sort of breakthrough thought that comes from intense pressure and despair.  I decided I would write straight into this WordPress site .. rather than into yet another Word or OmmWriter document.  And taking a nudge and a glimpse of possibility from an email I received yesterday from Brian Johnson of Philosophers Notes asking ‘What is your keystone habit?’ (that being “a habit that, when we change it, will have the greatest positive impact on our lives”) .. I am here committing (eek!) to regular (weekly?) blogging as a habit.  One bonus of doing this is that it can free me from my tendency to get stuck in the thinking process.  There is always more thought that can be given to any topic .. but sometimes, as I know much too well, action is more important that perfection .. and overthinking can lead to less clarity not more.  I know that I will do far better at clarifying my thoughts and improving my writing by putting them out than in keeping them to myself.  And while it used to be other people’s responses that I feared .. I feel ready to deal with whatever may entail.

 

Taking action and stretching my comfort zone

 

I feel like I’ve written too much already .. but since I’m on a bit of a roll I will share some of the journey I’ve been on this year.  In order to break out of my shell I have made a point of forcing myself, by all sorts of trickery, out of my head and into action.  This has meant speaking where I normally would stay quiet, agreeing to do things I’d normally hold back on, doing things rather than just thinking about them.  And so I have been pushing against my comfort zones, moving forward .. in baby steps.  It has been quite a journey .. a roller coaster really.  In taking actions that are against my natural proclivity .. such as opening up and sharing my reality with others, pushing myself into connection, and accepting support – my experience has been that the Universe responds in kind.  And slowly – so slowly I’ve often berated myself and felt discouraged – each small action builds upon itself, the cogs start turning, and I have been able to see some progress.

 

The journey toward writing this post

 

I will share some actions I have taken that led to this post being written today (and to perhaps explain how momentous this simple post is for me..).  It may give some indication of the sort of pressure it takes for me put myself in the public eye.  It started with a trip to Santa Cruz, California in February, with funds scraped together by borrowing from my son’s bank account.  It says something about how desperate I was feeling to escape from the prison of my personality, as much for his sake as for mine, that I deemed this necessary.  This trip was for the purpose of a deep dive into the Enneagram and exploring my personality type.  On my return, having seen with some clarity how my not expressing myself was like a slow and painful death, I had the fortitude to push forward on my ‘sculpture for play’ vision enough to crystallise my thinking and submit an entry into Sculpture by the Sea. Miraculously, my proposal was accepted for the 2016 exhibition.  My next big push was a grant submission to the World Domination Summit Foundation, asking for help to support me in the journey toward the creation of the prototype of Cloudscape.  This grant submission wasn’t successful, but the process forced further clarity, and prompted a friend who was present while I put it together to offer to loan me the money so I could get to the World Domination Summit in Portland, Oregon in July (Thank you Victor!).  My first day back in Bellingen after that magical journey of connection, a meet up of the Bellingen Co-Working group was organised (my joining that group is another step I’ve taken this year).  On this day the organiser, Thea, had organised an ‘offer and needs market’.  Buoyed up from the trip and crystal clear on the need to connect with others, I announced my offer and need as a desire to create a ‘mastermind’ group for support, accountability and brainstorming.  Two people showed interest.  This blog post is much thanks to that group .. since I committed to publishing a blog post at our last meeting.  And so, with the big steps just shared and a number of baby steps in between, I am slowly getting more comfortable with putting my thoughts and ideas into the world.

 

What do I have to offer?

 

For years I have pondered and puzzled, stressed over and felt quite defeated by the question of what I have to offer the world.  What gift or offering I have that does not weaken or destroy me in the process .. that has meaning and value enough to sustain me, that allows me to stretch my mind and connect with others in a way that I feel makes a real difference, that allows me the solitude and space I need to feel strong .. and that allows me to be supported financially.  My response to this, for the most part, has been a lifelong practice of minimising needs while working just enough to scrape by.  But of course this response has serious limitations.  And while the answer is yet to come .. this has been a year of climbing out of the hole I dug for myself .. of coming back into the world.  And a big inspiration in this journey back into the world has come from my discovery of the Enneagram and the clarity and realisations that have come from my deep dive into this powerful and illuminating tool.

 

 

Cloudscape – a tool for transformation

 

For now, Cloudscape, is the tool I am using to make my difference in the world .. both in the journey toward its creation and by the piece when it is realised.  On so many levels Cloudscape is about connection to others, connection to ourselves, connection to spirit, opening up to new possibilities, breaking out of ‘everyday life’, exploring and taking risks, and shifting our experience of the world.

 

Next steps

 

As I move toward making this vision a reality, my next steps include finishing the model and fine-tuning the design, obtaining official approval from Bellingen Shire Council, developing the Kickstarter campaign, promoting it far and wide, raising the funds, settling on a strategy for building it, bringing together a team to build it, building it and then .. releasing it.

I feel like I could write forever.  But I don’t need to cover everything in a single post .. so I will stop for now.  But never fear .. you will hear from me again shortly .. and having now declared it to the world .. I will continue toward the realisation of this long held dream .. of creating magical spaces for exploring and experiencing the world.

Your thoughts?

 

Has anything I’ve said resonated?  Please comment below.

With gratitude,

Charmaine