For a long time I was proud of my ability
to override my feelings
Those messy, complicated, sometimes painful things
That made the journey hard and uncomfortable.
I shifted to ideas, dreams, plans
as I was taught.
Except something wasn’t right.
I couldn’t work it out.
I would charge forward,
only to slip into hopelessness and despair.
Life lacked meaning.
I felt confused.
Then, almost fifty years later
I found feelings again
And rediscovered life.
I learned to love the pain
Because it was life.
No longer part of the living dead
I watched my life transform
I searched for joy
And settled into the reality
of life’s ups and downs.
Now I had tears to soothe and quench me
where once I had been parched
And I moved boldly towards feelings
Understanding that feelings were
a connection to the soul
a connection to humanity
an opening for love
and an invitation for life.