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Unravelling

My life is a journey towards clarity .. which it seems came about through getting myself into a state of extreme confusion as a very young child .. which I believe came about due to the fact that 'unpleasant' emotions were not accepted in my family of origin and so I...

Hiding in limbo, preparing for change

Hiding in limbo, preparing for change

Taken down by technology Finally, a week after my website went down and I lost over two months of work, I'm taking action rather that getting lost in loss and overwhelm, and writing again.  Writing helps me to get clarity .. and I felt like I was just starting to make...

The meaning of life

The meaning of life

When I first heard the phrase "life is empty and meaningless" it actually gave me hope.  It let me out of a lifelong bind where I was forever searching for the meaning of life.  Yet despite that flash of clarity, I have continued my search.  The number 42 has...

Risking

Risking

On the spectrum of risk taking I lean very much toward carefulness.  Generally, risks I've taken have been considered and calculated.  I've pushed myself close to the edge many times .. even in life risking ways .. but I'm rarely impetuous. So, in a moment of insanity...

Disappearing

Disappearing

Hello, So much for my questioning whether I could write a daily post.  The answer is clearly no, because I need space.  My need for space and freedom has driven my whole life, and I'm not going to suddenly impose a public daily discipline on myself.  I will allow...

Waning

Waning

Hello, I've been writing regularly on this blog lately with today being my 7th day in a row.  I've been wondering whether I should carry on this jaunt of writing every day or whether I should allow my writing to wax and wane.  I know periods of silence will be...

Opening up

Opening up

Hello, We are moving into a big full moon tomorrow, and things feel pretty big all round. Through my Shine Your Light journey of three months we have been moving in alignment with the moon, so I feel the energy of this full moon in my life. Tomorrow things come to a...

Moving forward

Moving forward

Hello. I'm in a transitional phase at the moment.  I seem to have been in this phase a long time .. but things seem to be shifting more and more. I'm about to move from one project to the next .. leave my website alone for a while so I can work on the final modules of...

Ready .. Set ..

Ready .. Set ..

Hello, So, a while back I learnt about a tendency of my personality type (Enneagram type 5) .. it was a sort of joke .. that rather than 'ready, set, go ..' instead we get stuck in 'ready, ready, ready ..'.  This analogy described my experience so well .. of...

Shifting gears

Shifting gears

Things seems to be speeding up .. but at enough of a rate that I can handle it.  I've had a strange yet wonderful day.  It's 9.10pm and I haven't even stopped to have breakfast .. though I stopped and had an apple and some cashews before my aikido class. I've been...

Oh. My. God.

Oh. My. God.

Hello, Today marks my 46th revolution around the sun.  My birthday has always felt quite significant to me.  It marked the day the Berlin wall came down just a month after I left Berlin.  That was unexpected .. and lovely.  But today .. Oh My God .. it marks the day...

The Journey

The Journey

Hello,   My intention is to paint a bit of a picture of my life's journey, as I traverse it.  I've seen my whole life as an exploration toward understanding what life is about and why we are here.  And lately I've been making some big discoveries and shifting my...

Releasing my inner craziness

Releasing my inner craziness

Something I've learnt and practiced throughout my life is holding back .. holding back from saying anything that might offend, from having an opinion on anything, from making decisions, from life really.. What does this holding back give me?  I think the biggest thing...

Breaking through

Breaking through

I have so much I've been thinking about and wanting to write about.  And my life has been in a slight state of craziness with too many plans and projects on the go .. too many pots on the boil so to speak.  But amidst all the craziness have been some huge realisations...